I haven’t been feeling good this week. I caught a cold on top of having pretty bad morning sickness (Why it is called that I have no idea, ‘cause for me it is an all day affair). I have been death warmed over. I have been feeling like staying inside and doing nothing. I swear my theme song has been Bruno Mars’ Lazy. But the combination of not feeling well and not wanting to do anything doesn’t bode well for most people let alone a mother of three young active ones. I confess to taking them on drives to the Starbucks on Lakeville’s drive thru on more than one occasion.

My husband has been amazing though. He came home last night to a sink full of dishes. He did the dishes and then put together his dinner. I felt incredibly guilty because I know he didn’t necessarily want his wife to be pregnant and sick. Thankfully he is wonderful and taking it in stride. I know he is scared about providing for all of us but he definitely has his light-hearted moments too. Just this morning he was talking and playing with Baby Rocky when he said, “I wouldn’t mind another one of you” and then he jokingly added, “Oh, wait”. What a funny guy!

I must remember to give myself a break and not get upset with myself if I can’t keep house as well as I’d like to. I am trying to also keep in mind that I am a very sensitive person normally so add on top of that pregnancy sensitivity and it is probably a good thing that I am laying low. I can’t assume that I know what my husband or anyone for that matter is thinking. Plus I know that it is pretty self-centered to think that they are thinking about me in the first place.

I already have racked up a few hurt feelings from just by showing up at a friends wedding party last weekend. I ran into one old friend who basically made the insinuation that I was having a fourth child just to keep up with a mutual friend of ours who is pregnant with her fourth. I laughed it off and told her kindly that “No, I’m not in competition with so-and-so” but “yes, we are done.” That one comment stung a bit. But I had to consider the source; and not to judge this woman because she seems perfectly happy in her life, but she doesn’t have any kids, isn’t married, and is forty-something. So, I really tried hard not to take it personally.

I also had another friend totally snub me at the same party. I went up to talk to her a few times and it seemed like she brushed me off each time. I went home and put myself straight to bed. I had a good friend tell me that she can’t trust her thinking after 9 pm. I am pretty sure it was well after 9:30 when both of these encounters happened. Goodnight indeed!

I am so grateful to be feeling better (at least from the head cold) and doing my best to enjoy each moment of the day. I am not trusting my thinking right now and working hard to let go of the insecurities I feel on a regular basis: “So and so hasn’t congratulated me” or “my husband is mad at me” are just thoughts I can’t afford.

It seems as though God’s timing is perfect because although it wasn’t in our plan to get pregnant, it worked out that I am pregnant and feeling so sick during a time when both Olivia and Georgia are in preschool together daily from 9-3pm. I get a lot of time to spend with Raquel and I can nap when she is napping. The little one is the easiest to entertain and she doesn’t mind as much that we are not getting out a lot and that her Mommy isn’t so energetic.

I may not be feeling well right now but I am enjoying my children and the funny things they are saying about the new baby. Brent and I were in bed the other night watching backlogged episodes of Entourage on his computer when they burst into our room giggling. They had been brainstorming baby names and came up with a few doosies they just had to share. I thought it was adorable and so funny. I feel so blessed and despite my lazy, nauseous body, and weary oversensitive head, all is well and I am happy.