This past weekend was my daughter, Olivia’s, first dance recital. It was a big deal. I didn’t even realize how big of a deal it was until I re-read the instructions from the dance studio a few days prior to our first rehearsal. Every thing was planned down to the last curled ponytail.  Costumes were to be worn and the girls were to be ready to go promptly for all rehearsals. There was a lineup and specific instructions for dropping off and picking up the dancers. Between the dress rehearsal on Friday and full dress rehearsal, and actual recital on Saturday, I spent the majority of my weekend down in Marin.

While Olivia and I had a great time, I can tell that being a stage mom isn’t something I was comfortable with.  The back and forth and preparation was taxing to say the least. The rain did not help my hair curling abilities and getting my 4.5 year-old to willingly put on her costume when I needed her to so we could get to the Marin Civic Center in time was tense.

Then there was the pressure…pressure mostly in my head. I felt nervous that because it was my daughter’s first time dancing in front of people that she would freeze up on stage and just stand there. I had to tell myself that it was her first time and if she did just stand there it would be okay and I would tell her she did great anyway.

I was grateful that there were other mothers there who had been through the dance recital process before so I could follow along and pretend like I knew what I was doing. They even gave me the heads up to make sure to bring flowers for my daughter because all the little girls get flowers and if I didn’t bring flowers I’d feel terrible that I didn’t. I guess that had happened to one mom last year and her daughter was really sad. I was glad for the heads up but I really didn’t think my daughter would be interested in flowers. Thankfully, my in-laws were on it.

Then was the fact that in between the dress rehearsal and the recital, I lost Olivia at the mall while when we stopped into return a lamp and brose the women’s shoe department. I turned my back for a second and she had taken off. She wandered all the way down to a store we had returned the lamp at, in search of a children’s book that she had wanted, and headed back to find me. When I realized she was gone, I went out looking, enlisting the help of a security guard to assist me in my search. I started to call out her name hoping she would hear me or be close by. In that moment, terrible thoughts had spread through my mind and I although I was hopeful that I would find her, I feared the possibility that somebody snatched her.

The security guard took my daughter’s statistics and alerted his crew. I began down in the direction of the store we had been in together. I then saw her coming towards me. She was in tears. She had gone to get the book and had gotten lost. Not to make light of a scary situation, but the dance recital flashed through my mind and I felt like I had failed by losing a performer in the big show. I grossly had mismanaged the talent and I felt terrible.

Olivia scared the daylights out of herself and me and I decided that we better get out of there and back into dance recital prep mode. A real stage mom would not have allowed herself to get sidetracked by such worldly materialism on game day. We returned to my mother-in-law’s house, our Marin hub, had dinner, got ready (yet again), and we were off to the big recital.

When we arrived at the Marin Civic Center, the stagehands took Olivia and the rest of the “Little Mermaids” back stage. I waited for my husband to arrive with Georgia and Raquel to help him to our seats. The baby even had her own seat since the Civic Center made us buy her one despite the fact that she was going to sit on our laps the entire time ($24.00! I could not believe it).

The performance started with fun, lights, and amazingly talented dancers. The littlest dancers, the 2-3 year-olds, stole the show for me. They were so adorable and they could all hardly remember their dance moves. Olivia’s dance was number 19 out of 26 or so before intermission. So our wait was long to see our star perform.

When the big moment came, Olivia did wonderful. She remembered most all of her dance moves and when she couldn’t she just kept on “raising the roof”. It was amazing considering we hadn’t practiced as much as I’m sure a seasoned stage mom would have insisted upon. It was a great experience for our entire family.

After the recital, each child was presented with a trophy, which Olivia showed to us proudly by saying, “I won!”. She didn’t completely care about the flowers she was given but she did feel very special. So much so that she has already requested that we continue with dance classes next season.

I may not be the best stage mom that ever was but I enjoyed watching my little girl dance her heart out on stage that day. I was so proud of her and thankfully there are a few months between now and then for me to hone my skills.