Let’s just say re-entry isn’t a beach. We just got home from our trip late Tuesday night and what a wonderful trip it was. We spent five days in Oahu, at a beautiful resort. We swam, ate wonderful, leisurely meals, had fulfilling adult conversation, I read a book cover-to-cover that wasn’t entirely dedicated to providing me with the latest parenting tips, slept in, got a massage, and pretty much just laid around in the sun.

I felt recharged and rested and very much looked forward to seeing my children’s smiling faces when I got back. I had told myself that when I got home things would be different. I’d be more relaxed and everything would just flow. My kids would be so happy to see me that they would be in great moods and be so well behaved. And then I got home…

Let me preface this by saying that my mom and my in-laws are amazing people. They were all so gracious to agree to take care of my children while we were away. They schlepped them to school, to dance class, to birthday parties, and field trips. I don’t want to make them feel bad because I think they did an amazing job and as grandparents it is probably their role in life, but I feel as though my kids were over indulged this past week. Everyone seems a bit bigger to me too. Even the dog looks like she has packed on a few pounds.

Wednesday, I endured one of the biggest meltdowns ever from Olivia all because she did not get milk at bedtime. Through tears she kept saying, “But Nana gave it to me!” Ugh! I have also suffered constant pestering for “treats” by all of the children (well, maybe not Rocky).

I returned home and walked into a fairly sizable mess, mounds of laundry, a clingy baby, and I’ve seen a lot of tears since I’ve been back. But so far but I’m determined to not let it get me down. My mantras have been “don’t get wound up, remain calm, and breathe” Those and “Re-entry is a b@#ch!” (That last one I think to myself and don’t say out loud).

While vacations are a welcome bonus in life, and a luxury that many people never get the chance to experience, life at home for me is tough work. Just three days back and I have returned home to feel those old familiar feelings of overwhelm, frustration, tiredness, and basically just feeling challenged by my kids. I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me, nor do I feel sorry for myself. After all, I did just come back from Hawaii.

I’ve been out with my kids since getting back and  I’ve been given that look by other mom friends that says, “I’m sorry you had to come home.” Just today, I completely blew my lid on my kids who really just seem overtired to me. My solution: mandatory naps.

What I learned from being on vacation is how important it is for me to rest and do nothing from time to time. I find that I get so busy with the day in and day out of life that I forget to let the dishes go and wrestle with my kids. I am trading cleanliness for fun, and sometimes, quite honestly, television shows for quality time together.

In light of the prediction of the end of the world tomorrow, I’ve thought a little bit about how I am going to spend my last day on earth? It will probably go down the same way I spent the day before in a “rinse, lather, and repeat” kind of way. While I’m fairly certain you’ll hear back from me next week, I will definitely take a precautionary pause today to smell my roses, play with my children, remember my mantras, hug my husband, and pet the dog. Lastly, I’ll continue to pray for another chance to do a better job tomorrow, to hang on, and enjoy this life.