The yellowish light that reads “MAINT REQ” (maintenance required) has been illuminated on my van’s dashboard for weeks now. I just haven’t had the time to take it in for the long overdue oil change. I had to laugh because I have been feeling a little “MAINT REQ” myself lately as I realized I am long overdue for my annual exam and a few other “maintenance” type appointments.
I think most moms feel this way at many points throughout their lives. It’s hard to find the time to take care of our “maintenance” while juggling the maintenance of our children. Then when we think to schedule something, we have to find someone to watch the kids. I remember when, a few months back, I took all three kids to my dog’s “maintenance” appointment. I don’t know what I was thinking. I had the dog on a leash, Georgia with her monkey backpack on (a.k.a. leash), the baby, and Olivia, all in the Vet’s office at once. I was juggling the kids, the dog, the kids around other dogs, and it was a nightmare. I handled it the best I could, put a smile on my face, and meanwhile inside I was kicking myself for allowing this to happen. I got in and out of there with the aid of the friendly and amazing staff at Brandner Veterinary Hospital and told them and myself, as I left, “Never Again!”
Sometimes I do things just to try them out to see if I can, I challenge myself, and think that I can because other people seem to be able to, and then I usually learn my limits (read lesson) shortly thereafter. But that is what us moms do don’t we? We are scientists and we are experimenters. Sometimes, we think we can do it all, when we just can’t, or in my case at the Vet’s office, just shouldn’t. And in the midst of balancing everything and everyone, we let ourselves, uh-hem, “go”.
It’s funny because I’m a big proponent of doing whatever I need to do to get time to myself but I actually don’t get a whole lot of time on my own without my children. When I do, the gates of heaven open, a shining light pours down, and I can hear angels singing. I have found that even my dental cleanings can be exhilaratingly relaxing when I haven’t had a minute to myself in days. The scraping of my teeth with that plaque removal instrument doesn’t seem to matter so much when I’m in need of a minute to myself. I just lie there and rest.
I love it when I’m out and doing something on my own and people need to go ahead of me in line or they want to merge in front of my car on the road. I’m always saying stuff like “no, no, after you”, “you go ahead”, or “please, take your time”. People think I’m being nice, but I’m just milking every second I can of my time alone. They can’t tell that waiting is my break from my three girls and barking dog. I don’t mind the waiting in line, not one bit.
I’ve been getting a little more time without the kids over the past few weeks. My sister is getting married in June and I’ve had the pleasure of accompanying her on a few outings; invitation ordering, dress selection, meetings with the venue, just to name a few. In between her appointments we managed to squeeze in a quick trip to Cavallo Point Spa at Fort Baker. Now this was a slice of heaven. If you haven’t been there, I highly recommend it. They have a wonderful basking pool, eucalyptus steam room, nice lounge area, and great massage therapists. I was so glad to be there.
The best part of getting a few minutes to myself has been getting a few moments to reflect on how lucky I am to have my little ones to come home to. Lest I forget, I keep them with me at all times, not only in my heart but also in my purse. I just cleaned it out today and this is what I found: a few Cherrios, one baby sock, a Buzz Lightyear Duplo (Georgia loves him), absolutely no money in my wallet, receipts, a diaper, half eaten granola bar, a princess ponytail holder, something sticky (not sure what that was), my make-up kit, keys, cell phone, and some hand sanitizer.
Yes, I am a mom. You can tell by the contents of my purse. It is a wonderful job and I love it. It is a job more rewarding than any job I’ve ever had. I am amazed at what I get done in a day on a regular basis and at the end of a long day, I feel accomplished no matter how little personal time I’ve gotten. I almost always lie down in my bed happy, tired, and wondering out loud, a question commonly uttered by moms, “Wait, did I shower today?”