Rocky, my baby, is over 10 months old now. I cannot believe it! The first baby in our playgroup just turned one and Rocky’s birthday is less than two months away. Where did the time go? Her top teeth have just emerged from her gums and she has discovered that by gritting her top and bottom teeth together she produces, what seems to be to her, an amusing sound. However, this sound is probably at the top of my list of things that give me the shivers. It’s right up there with the sound of nails across vinyl fabric. Every time she does it and I’m holding her, I pretty much freak out and think about dropping her. But I don’t. She scoots around the room at a rapid pace and has had a few near walking situations. Honestly, I am in no hurry for her to walk and I worry that she is getting very close. Her older sister, Georgia, walked at 10 months and then started running just after that so I am in no hurry to have history repeat itself because if you’ve been keeping up with my blogs, you know all about Georgia.

Looking back over the past 10 months, it has been challenging adding a third baby to the family. But Raquel has been the most amazing baby and I feel so lucky to have her. She is happy and is very connected to me, which is something I am so grateful for. I remember a post partum mental health provider who was meeting with me after her birth told me that many women who get post partum depression don’t connect with their children. She had met with many women whose babies she could tell had not connected with their mothers. She could see it in their eyes when they looked at each other. That made me both sad to hear and grateful that my circumstances weren’t as severe.

As time has gone on and Rocky has gotten older, things have gotten easier and I feel like I am much better at taking care of myself. I am grateful that with time, a rhythm has been developing in my house. As a busy mom with three kids, I have struggled with making time for myself, without my husband, doing something to feed my soul. I can’t go out a lot but when I do get a chance to connect with other women I find that I feel so much happier.

Last night I had a great experience connecting with other women through music. I was invited to attend a Wednesday evening drum circle for adults. I know what you may be thinking; my UC Santa Cruz roots are emerging again. But actually, I never took advantage of going to a drum circle while in college. I think I was too insecure and instead of considering it as a potential good experience for me, I judged the people who were going and thought to myself, “silly hippies” (even though some of them were). What intrigued me by this particular opportunity, and now that I am more open-minded, was that idea that through music, in this case drumming, healing and wellness could be achieved. I have been particularly interested in doing things that promote wellness, de-stress, and even heal my body.

The class was offered by Mz. Marianne with Adventures in Rhythm. I had taken Mz. Marianne’s music classes with my children but I had never had any opportunities to take her classes for me. I was so excited by the chance to de-stress and play music. But having no prior drumming experience I was nervous that I would be able to achieve wellness by anything I might produce on a drum. After a brief warm-up exercise and introduction to the drums, we stretched before selecting which drum we would use. I consider myself someone who has a hard time relaxing especially in new situations but I was amazed that my initial self-consciousness was washed away after we got going with the drumming. I found myself closing my eyes and was transported to a place of enjoying the beats of the collective sounds coming from everyone’s drums. There were moments of relaxation, happiness, and peace.  I felt the energy in the music. I even found myself transported back in time remembering a Mexican nursery rhyme my father used to say to us and played the beat on my drum. There was also a moment that I wished that I could have been outside with the drums and I felt free and at ease with the other people in the class.

Ultimately my goal in taking a drumming workshop was to have an outlet for self-expression, do something for myself, and perhaps release stress and even anger out in a healthy way. There are more classes coming up but I have to say that so far it was one of the coolest things I have ever had the opportunity to experience. I was surprised how good I felt after drumming. It was very fun. It made me wish that I had taken advantage of attending drum circles before now.

I am so glad I got to get my drum on this week. I feel better having taken a little time for myself to try something new and enjoy music with others. When I take time to myself I feel like I am better equipped to show up to my children and to my husband. I get to tap into a part of myself that frequently gets put aside while I care for my family.

On a regular basis I feel lucky to live in Petaluma, since living here I have met many wonderful people who are truly invested in doing good for others. I feel very lucky that I have met people like Mz. Marianne. She is a master of her craft and her desire to bring healing to people of all ages through music is something that is truly inspiring. For more information on drumming workshops in Petaluma check out her website and consider joining her in her community building efforts. I am still amazed how great I feel after making music with others. See you at the next drum circle!