The question “how was your holiday?” is one that I’d rather not be answering right now. Inevitably I feel I must answer it so I have been answering it in the best way I possibly can. Yesterday when I was asked I said, “Well, at least this year we weren’t throwing up on Christmas”. But since we threw up plenty of times the week before, let’s just say that we are ready to move on from 2010.

This Christmas was exceptionally challenging. When we arrived at my mom’s house following our 5 am departure and a 7-hour drive, the kids were wound up, we were exhausted, and the day was still young. We then proceeded to navigate a host of challenges including trying to tell my two-year-old not to touch the piano (which to a two-year-old is like saying “please touch the piano”) and pleading with my brother to get over his newly established “no TV on Christmas policy” long enough to allow us to turn on the television so the kids would have something to keep them occupied. Turning on the TV worked long enough to keep the adults from being annoyed at the kids for being so rambunctious while keeping the kids entertained long enough so we could all catch our breath to try and settle in. Later we dealt with lag time in the kitchen getting dinner ready, baby crawling over dirty floors, kids refusing to nap, baby not sleeping through the night at Nana’s, fights with my brother over disciplining my kids (he doesn’t have kids yet mind you), 94-year-old Grandma hovering over everything the kids were doing because she worries so much, sadness and disappointment over the fact that my sister didn’t come to Christmas, and the empty chair at the head of the table reminding us ever so subtly that Dad is out of the picture.

When Christmas came the next morning and Santa had arrived, my little girls were so excited they woke the house in the wee hours of the morning. My husband and I decided based on our experience from the day before that keeping the monkey’s out of the house was a good plan of attack. After presents and a breakfast of holiday M&M’s (my stocking stuffer gone horribly wrong…Bad Santa!), we took them to the park and later to see a movie. When we arrived back at the house the dinner table was set and our sleep-deprived family enjoyed the fruits of the labor of the other adults who had worked so hard that day to make a beautiful and delicious Christmas dinner.

But by then we had decided to cut our trip short and head home the next day, a day earlier than originally planned. We needed to return to our more manageable unmanageability. We said our goodbyes, thank you, and sorry, and headed home to Petaluma. It was clear that the holiday didn’t turn out the way that I had hoped and I was feeling pretty discouraged. I left feeling sad that the holiday hadn’t gone more smoothly for us or for my family especially in light of the barrage of Facebook statuses from friends touting tales of  “The BEST Christmas EVER!”

On our way home, my husband and I stopped the car in San Luis Obispo for dinner. We found ourselves at the Tahoe Joe’s off Madonna Road. After a trip to the restroom I saw that they had seated my husband and kids next a couple that I perceived to be giving us a look that said “Oh, God, No. Why did they sit us next to those kids?” So I asked the waitress kindly if she could move us a little farther away from them. They sat us in a table in the back corner of the restaurant. My husband and I worked surprising well together to get the girls to eat their dinners, keep them in their seats, feed the baby, and eat our own dinners quickly enough but without causing indigestion. As soon as we had finished we asked for the check. When the waitress came back with our “To Go” box she proceeded to say, “You know that older couple I had originally tried to seat you next to? Well, they paid your check for you. They were reminded of the time when they ate out with their young children and how difficult it was. They said it was all worth it though and they wanted to take care of your bill for you”. Upon hearing this, my eyes immediately welled up with tears. I was in utter shock. No one had ever done something like that for us before. We had just had a very tough holiday and to have these strangers take this act of kindness towards us felt so wonderful to receive. They had not wanted to make a fuss and they had already left the restaurant. I wished that I could have hugged them because their gesture came at a time when I was feeling badly about myself. I was reminded once again about the true spirit of giving and the real meaning behind the holidays. I was also reminded that I rush to judgment too quickly. That couple had been looking at us and remembering raising their kids, not looking down on us for sitting next to them.

Looking back on my holiday, I see many things that I could have done differently. I wish I had behaved differently over the weekend and conducted myself with more patience with my kids and my family. I’m so grateful that now I have the opportunity to grow from this experience and think more about who I want to be in 2011 and how I want to parent. I’m hoping that next Christmas I will get another opportunity to do it differently. 2010 hasn’t been the easiest for my family with my parents splitting up and my battle with post partum depression. But for every hard thing we went through there were also so many wonderful things that happened in 2010. The best of which was the birth of my third beautiful daughter Raquel. My daughter is one of the sweetest littlest angels in my life and I am so happy to have her.

As I wrap up 2010, I am excited and optimistic for the future and hoping that 2011 is amazing for us and for everyone out there. I’m ready for something new. I’m ready for positive change and I’m not scared of what 2011 might bring us. In fact I feel like taunting it to “Bring it!” So, here it goes, “Bring it 2011, I triple dog dare you!” Happy New Year! to all my friends and family.  Thanks for sticking by me in 2010 and for supporting me by reading my blogs.