I feel like I fell off the grid this week. I usually have my blog up and running by Thursday. But this week I am behind. Remember when I wrote about my calendar blowing up, well, it officially has. I’m still dusting off the residue of a week gone crazy. I’m surprised that I’m still standing (okay, so I’m finally sitting).
I just returned home after spending the afternoon showering my baby sister with love. She is getting married in June, so I spent a good part of last week getting things together for the bridal shower I was throwing her. It was lovely to see my planning and work come to fruition.
Twenty-something of our closest friends and family arrived this afternoon to celebrate with her. It was really surreal for me seeing her sit in the chair opening gifts. My little sister is getting married! Do you know what that means? That’s right, cousins! Okay, so I’ll give the girl a chance to enjoy her married life a little before starting in on babies, but we would love to have some cousins for our girls to grow up with.
My husband comes from a big family and has lots of cousins. When we get together with family for special occasions all of his cousins sit around late at night in the hospitality suite talking, laughing, and ribbing each other. I love it. I would love that for my children one day. I didn’t have cousins around me growing up. They all lived in Mexico and one lives in Japan.
But since we don’t have cousins from our siblings yet (except baby Zoe in Texas), we will just have to settle for our wonderful neighbors. My neighbors are another reason that I am so tired and fell behind this week in my writing. It turns out our newest next door neighbors are really great at gathering people together for parties. This week’s cause: Cinco de Mayo.
I got really into it. I made food for the fiesta, got the girls dressed up in their Mexican dresses, and headed out to eat, drink, and “Ay, ya, yaiiii!” with the best of them. As I watched my littlest toddler, Rocky, toddle around with the big kids I felt so happy. What a wonderful neighborhood we have, where the neighbors gather together to celebrate with each other. I looked down at Rocky and said out loud to her, “You get to grow up with this, you are so lucky”. She smiled at me; her face covered with chocolate from a mini ice cream cone, and then she toddled away.
Somewhere in the week, the news broke that Osama bin Laden had been killed by US Special Forces. As the news was being announced, I felt weird about it and a little sick to my stomach. I couldn’t feel good about someone being killed and yet I remembered all of the people who lost loved ones on 9-11. I can’t imagine the daily pain they must feel not having their loved ones with them. I didn’t feel good that day either. As the news continued to stream online and on the television, I came across a quote from Martin Luther King Jr. that I really gave me perspective into what I might be feeling. He said:
”I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.”
I then returned to my regularly scheduled life to focus on my sister’s shower, the Fiesta, and of course my family. I haven’t turned on the news since; I just don’t have the space in my head for anything else right now let alone the death of a man full of hate.
Now that my sister’s shower is over and the enchiladas have left the building, I could catch up with my writing and focus on what was next: my Mom.
Tomorrow is the big Mother’s Day celebration with my mother, 94-year-old grandmother, mother-in-law, father-in-law, sister-in-law, sister and her fiancé, my husband, and my last but not least my children. It won’t be all about me, as there will be three other mothers at the table, but I am looking forward to celebrating my most important role in life.
I have heard that some women are afraid of ending up just like their mothers. I know that we all have our faults and flaws and my mom is no exception. But even as I write this blog, she has been sitting hand sewing five of my daughter’s dresses that had holes in them. She traveled all the way up from southern California yesterday and has had just as long of a day as I have and yet she sews on. I have been thinking to myself, “Is there nothing that my mother wouldn’t do for her children?”
Despite her own personal heartache with my dad leaving her after 34 years of marriage, my mother has shown up for all three of her children and grandchildren without fail. She has been present through my pregnancy and birth of Raquel, my sister’s engagement, my brother’s move to Guam, my grandmother’s health scare, and the list goes on and on. She is a rock in our family and her strength has been amazing to witness. In many ways, I hope to be even half as amazing as she has been as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, and friend.
I love my mother so much and I am so grateful to her for being such an incredible mother to me. When I think of incredible women I often think of her and my grandmother. I also think of all the mothers I have met over the years living in this town. While I don’t always see them or talk to them, I feel comradery because I know they are out there. They too are working hard at mothering and are doing their very best to raise good children.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there who celebrate tomorrow. It’s by far the toughest job that I have ever worked but the payoff is worth it. This week as I started to feel a bit weary from overdoing, little Georgia put her hands to the side of my face and said to me, “I’m so proud of you”. Yes, the pay off is most certainly worth it.